King o' The Cats
a cat in gloves catches no mice

Women As Likely As Men to Want Casual Sex

In short: The reason the stereotypes exist is because the playing field isn’t level; women are less likely to experience pleasure during a casual encounter and also more likely to be sexually assaulted during a casual encounter, thus they are less likely to accept casual offers from men. This paints a cultural problem, not a lacking sexual drive.

When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men

This article in general does a good breakdown about the myth of women and men having unequal sexualities, and about how sexual appetite and how it is treated is greatly influenced by sociological factors rather than instinct and drive.

Another article about this that has a lot of chain articles you should also read is The No-Sex Class Paradigm.

An Open Letter To Guys on Kink Websites (TW: Discussion of BDSM, consensual violence, etc)


This is for guys on dating websites, but specifically kink/BDSM sites, and more specifically, dominant men. Entitlement is strong with most men, so it might be the same way with subs, but I don’t get much attention from them, since I’m a sub myself.


If you send me a well thought out, courteous message that acknowledges my existence as a human being as well as the fact that I’m looking for someone to tie me down and fuck me violently, then good on you. I still don’t owe you my attention, and chances are, I have a damn good reason if I don’t respond. Whether it’s because you’re too far away and I’m not interested in planning an extended visit, or because something in your profile creeped me out, or because you don’t have a picture, or because you do have a picture and I’m not attracted to it, or because you’re older than my father and it freaks me the hell out to imagine having sex with someone who could be my dad… Believe me when I say I have a good reason. No, I’m not obligated to respond, and no, I’m not obligated to explain my reasoning to you. Sending six messages in half an hour is not going to change that.

2. If we were talking and I stopped responding, I probably have a good reason. Most likely it’s because the conversation drifted off and I can’t think of anything to add… Or it’s because you said something that caused me to become uninterested in sex with you. Sending multiple messages that I’ve clearly ignored is not going to change it either. One follow-up message is okay. As stated above, six is not. There are lots of warning bells when dealing with men in the BDSM scene, and the multiple messages thing is one of them. You’re not helping your cause.

3. Women are not objects. Some women are into objectification, but making a thing out of it in the first message is not the way to go about finding someone. I’m sure it works on some women, and more power to them. But if you refer to a woman in the third person as a refusal to acknowledge her until she proves her worthiness… You’re not going to get many positive responses. I know this is a novel concept for a lot of you, but women are people and deserve respect until they give you explicit and enthusiastic consent to treat them otherwise.


4. And when it comes to “do otherwise”… Even then. Respect your partner. Respect their right to expect safety. If she’s gagged and restrained, still check in on her. Have hand squeeze signals - you squeeze her hand once to ask if she’s okay. Two squeezes back is yes. One is no. Most people know what a panicked animal’s eyes look like. Look at her eyes. Again, if she’s gagged, have safe signals in place of a safe word. Also, CONDOMS. CONDOMS. CONDOMS. Condoms goddammit. Did you know that gonorrhea is ridiculously easy to pass through penis-to-mouth oral sex? What about the fact that there’s new strains of gonorrhea that are resistant to antibiotics? I’ve never used a condom for head, but you can bet your ass I’ll be making it a requirement for my consent from now on, up until the point that I trust the person and know they’re STD free.

5. Consent. Enthusiastic consent. “No means no”. But women are socialized to never say no to anybody. Just because she’s not saying no does not mean she’s saying yes; so look for signs of enthusiastic consent instead of waiting for her to say no. “Yes means yes”. Intoxication does not equal consent. Neither does wetness or other signs of arousal.

6. If I do you the favor of responding to your creepy ass message and tell you why you’re creepy, then block you, finding me on another kink site where I’m using the same pictures (or making another account) and threatening me is the wrong course of action. I’d think this is common sense, but it’s really not.

7. Misogynistic, scary, abusive men like to use BDSM as a cover-up for their abusive tendencies. Even if you’re not one of these guys, it’s not my responsibility to loosen up. It’s your responsibility to prove I can trust you. If you don’t immediately understand this, then you’re cut from ever being a potential anything for me.

Don’t be a jackass. Don’t be a jerk. Use common sense, and treat women on the internet and in person as human beings until given explicit consent to do otherwise. And obviously, these can apply to all genders, but the power of male privilege and societally ingrained idea of female subjugation makes the male Dominant/female Submissive dynamic an especially important one to label.

(Source: dinosaur-erotica)

Irish Government to Legalize Life-Saving Abortion

Ireland’s government pledged Tuesday to pass a law soon that will allow women to receive abortions if continued pregnancy threatens their lives — including from their own threats to commit suicide if denied one.

The announcement comes after decades of inaction on abortion in Ireland, and just weeks after the predominantly Catholic country faced international criticism over the death of an Indian woman hospitalized in Ireland with an imminent miscarriage.

Health Minister James Reilly said parliamentary hearings on the issue would begin next month, lawmakers would receive a bill by Easter and they would be expected to vote on it by the summer. This would mark the first time that Irish lawmakers have ever voted on abortion, arguably the most divisive issue in a country whose constitution bans the practice.

The government of Prime Minister Enda Kenny promised a swift response after the Oct. 28 death of 31-year-old dentist Savita Halappanavar. Authorities did not make public the woman’s death at the time, but her widower accused doctors at University Hospital Galway of refusing to terminate the pregnancy because the doomed 17-week-old fetus still had a heartbeat.

Halappanavar spent three days in increasing pain and illness before the fetus died and its remains were surgically removed. She then died from blood poisoning and organ failure three days after that. Her husband has refused to cooperate with two official Irish investigations into her death and instead is planning to sue Ireland in the European Court of Human Rights.

For two decades, successive Irish governments have resisted passing any law in support of a 1992 Supreme Court judgment that abortion should be legalized in Ireland in exceptional cases where pregnancy endangers a woman’s life. Ireland’s highest court ruled that a 14-year-old girl who had been raped by a neighbor should be provided an abortion because she was making credible threats to kill herself if denied one.

In 1992 and 2002, governments asked voters to approve constitutional amendments that would permit abortions only in medically essential circumstances, and exclude suicide threats as valid grounds. Voters rejected the proposals on both occasions.

Catholic conservatives oppose the court’s suicide-threat justification, arguing it could be used to expand access to abortion beyond relatively rare cases where a pregnancy endangers a woman’s life.

Among wealthy nations, the United States ranked 23rd in science and 31st in math in standardized tests. Our high-school seniors competed poorly in advanced math and physics. We rank 27th in college graduates with degrees in science and math.

Moreover, women represent 50 percent of the American population and capacity for innovation, but represent only 24 percent of the STEM workforce, according to the Association for Women in Science.

Here at The Huffington Post, we believe a more diverse group of scientists in STEM is necessary for our nation to stay competitive, and push the boundaries of innovation. That’s why we want to extend a digital helping hand to the future female leaders of STEM.

Join us in our new STEM mentorship initiative, in which we connect high-school- and college-age girls with an interest in science and engineering to female leaders in these fields.

Want to know what gets an analytical chemist fired up about her work? Want to learn how the developers of sites like Facebook and Twitter got where they are now? Maybe you’ve been taking apart cars since you were 10, and you aspire to become an automotive engineer. Or perhaps you wonder what it’s like to work with monkeys and rats as a technician in a neuroscience lab. Whatever curiosities strike you, our STEM mentors (in any and all fields) are here to help you explore your interests.

Rebecca Searles: Details: Join Our STEM Mentorship Program

(via huffingtonpost)

Signal boosting for the mentor program, and to mention that America is #1… in military spending.

(via stfuconservatives)

Is this how we should treat military women who’ve been raped?

Unconscionable — that’s the only way to describe an extreme policy that denies servicewomen and military dependents coverage for abortion services if they become pregnant as the result of rape. To add insult to injury, their civilian counterparts who also get their health insurance through the federal government do not face the same cruel policy.

Do your duty: tell your Members of Congress to end the outrageous abortion coverage ban for servicewomen and military dependents who have been raped or endured incest.

Congress will soon finalize the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA). Thanks to Senator Shaheen, they’ll have the opportunity to pass a version of the bill which removes this abhorrent ban, but some anti-choice Members of Congress who are willing to play politics with the women that serve this nation are standing in the way of ending this unjust ban.

This policy is simply wrong. We need your voice to end it today: tell Congress to end the abortion coverage ban for servicewomen and military dependents who become pregnant due to rape or incest.

Thank you for continuing to protect women’s reproductive health.

Send a Girl to School This Giving Tuesday!

Giving Tuesday is a wonderful concept, but not everyone can donate as much as they’d like to the causes they care about. Here’s a way to contribute that won’t break the bank: just sign to help get girls into school!

To put it in context, 1 in 3 girls around the world are still denied an education. 

Yeah, pretty much.

That’s why there’s an initiative to develop training centres in Burkina Faso, in West Africa, with a focus on giving girls access to vocational skills that will empower them to make choices about their future. These programs don’t charge school fees to ensure that the most vulnerable girls are given a chance for a better future.

But it takes the support of the global community to ensure life-changing programs like these get off the ground. This Giving Tuesday, please spread the word and support girls around the world!


Four servicewomen, a captain in the Marine Corps Reserves, a first lieutenant in the Marines, a staff sergeant in the Army Reserves and a major in the National Guard filed suit against the Pentagon today (Tuesday, Nov. 27th) challenging the Combat Exclusion Policy that prevents women from serving in ground combat. The ACLU is representing the four servicemembers and is joined by the excellent advocacy group Servicewomen’s Action Network in Hegar, et. al. v. Panetta. The four, all of whom are Iraq or Afghanistan veterans, two of whom are Purple Heart recipients, filed suit today in US District Court in San Francisco. 
The full complaint is available here.
I have had a considerable amount to say about the Combat Exclusion Policy and its harmful, sexist and outdated reasonings previously, and given today’s news, expect more blogging!
[Huffington Post]
Photo: Female Marines in Marja. Credit: Cpl. Marionne T. Mangrum.


Four servicewomen, a captain in the Marine Corps Reserves, a first lieutenant in the Marines, a staff sergeant in the Army Reserves and a major in the National Guard filed suit against the Pentagon today (Tuesday, Nov. 27th) challenging the Combat Exclusion Policy that prevents women from serving in ground combat. The ACLU is representing the four servicemembers and is joined by the excellent advocacy group Servicewomen’s Action Network in Hegar, et. al. v. Panetta. The four, all of whom are Iraq or Afghanistan veterans, two of whom are Purple Heart recipients, filed suit today in US District Court in San Francisco. 

The full complaint is available here.

I have had a considerable amount to say about the Combat Exclusion Policy and its harmful, sexist and outdated reasonings previously, and given today’s news, expect more blogging!

[Huffington Post]

Photo: Female Marines in Marja. Credit: Cpl. Marionne T. Mangrum.

What it’s like being a teen girl


The violations started small. I was 12, fairly tall with brand new boobs. My mother wouldn’t let me buy “real bras” for a long time. It didn’t occur to me that was weird until boys in my class started advising me to “stop wearing sports bras” because I was looking a little “saggy.” 

It was a boy who told me I had to start shaving my legs if I wanted anyone to ever like me. I said that wasn’t true. He laughed in my face and called me a dyke.

That night after shaving, my mother asked me why I was so vain. 

They started finding reasons to touch me, pinching my butt, snapping my new “real bras,” (“They look a lot better. Did you stuff?”) or straight-up grabbing my breasts. Dropped pencils with awkward leanovers. Staged run-ins.

One time, a popular boy I knew who lived on my street forced his way into my living room while my parents were still working and fought with me over a remote control so that he could cop a feel. I didn’t say anything. Speaking up was not an option—rather, an easy road to being even more ostracized and labelled “crazy.” Besides, who would believe that he’d wanted to touch me?

They named girls one by one, by the flaws of our bodies. What they considered theirs. They would write them on chalkboards to taunt us. Draw crude pictures. 

If we showed it hurt us, it only got worse. I would cry in the bathroom and hope for some serious illness to keep me out of school, if only for a day.

When I kissed one boy, he encouraged me to do the same with his friends. Not because he thought I might want to, but because I was a toy he wanted to share. An experience he wanted to give his less “successful” friends. For them, a celebration. For me, certain social suicide.

Even if I wanted it, there was never any winning.

I will never forget how excited I was to be invited to watch a movie with the popular boy I liked. I primped for hours. (I was, after all, a teenager grappling with my own new sexuality.) When I got there, he did not put on the movie we agreed to watch, but a porn film. I had never seen one before. He unzipped his pants, pushed and pulled at me. I cried the whole walk home.

They could pinpoint weaknesses. Worse, they knew they were wrong but there were just never any consequences. They knew this—treating us like objects there for them—was what was expected of them. 

I want to say that they stop. But the truth is that some never do.

I have never stopped being reminded of my there-for-men status. I am reminded when I am violated in my sleep, or groped in a bar, or held down by a longtime friend. I am reminded when I refuse conversation with a strange man and he spits in my direction, or calls me a “bitch.” I am reminded when I am asked why I wore such a pretty dress if I wasn’t trying to “pick up.” I am reminded when I am told to be less angry and more agreeable. I am reminded when I talk about my lived experience and am told to “stop being so negative about everything.” I am reminded when young girls are bullied so severely by men who wanted to see their bodies that they commit suicide. 

We don’t talk honestly enough about what it’s like being a teen girl. If we did talk about it, what it was like for us, perhaps we wouldn’t be so harsh on them. Perhaps we wouldn’t throw our hands up in the air and exclaim “oh, teen girls, they’re so difficult!” Perhaps they wouldn’t be so scary. Perhaps we’d see their lives for the small and large violations they’re often made up of; and what those violations do. 

Perhaps we would have been less surprised today when we learned that a fifteen-year-old boy was arrested on the scene of a sexual assault, in connection with a series of sexual assaults occurring in the Bloor and Christie area of Toronto. Perhaps we would be less shocked by the fact that it’s 12-17 year old boys who are the most likely to commit sexual assault (Statistics Canada, pg. 13). That is, after all, what they were doing to me. 

My stories are not uncommon. They’re more common than we want to think. As my friend Panic said: “Ask anyone who is or has been a teenaged girl. 15-yr-old boys assaulting women is common. It’s ‘normal.’” It’s so normal, in fact, that we don’t talk about it until we’re women and we know it doesn’t have to be.

Pretty much everything in North American culture tells men and boys that women and girls are there for them. So please, do us some favours. Stop telling us that we have to take self defence. Stop telling us we shouldn’t drink or go out at night or on dates. Stop telling us that we need to be prepared for whatever “boys-be-boys” violations come our ways, because it’s bullshit. We don’t have to accept this or carry it around in silence.

Start talking with men and boys about the messages they’re getting about women and girls. Tell them that they are not entitled to our bodies, no matter what. Talk to them honestly and comprehensively about sexualization and objectification. Stop being afraid to talk about boundaries, sex, and pleasure—leaving that to schools, the Internet, and peers is simply not cutting it. Show them what consent really looks like.

And this sounds basic, but remind them that we’re, you know, people? We deserve at least that much.


Addendum: Thank you + notes

Canadian women deserve better!


Last night you, Rona Ambrose, the Minister for the Status of Women voted in favour of a bill that would strip Canadian women of their right to security of person and the right to a safe and legal abortion.

Canadian women deserve a representative who knows women are more than their biological abilities; that those abilities should never be regulated by the government; and the only person capable of defining a woman’s future is that woman.  

You are not that representative.

We’re asking you to resign immediately. You don’t represent Canadian women and Candian women deserve better than you.

Let’s sign the petition.

(Source: stfuprolifers)