King o' The Cats
a cat in gloves catches no mice

Cupping genitals.

Gently caressing balls.

Your stupid ass anatomy is super vulnerable and yet so fucking fun god what the hell.

At least we feel better with stuff inside us….

tags → #tmi 

I just want to peg someone after filling them up with goodie foods.

I just want to suck a dick of a bulged tired baby.

I just want to force feed fertility stimulants to someone with balls and swell them up and get a nice milking machine and….

Is it at all possible to fill my uterus with like warm water or something and bloat me up, no need for actual pregnancy let alone god forsaken childbirth.

tags → #tmi 

If you want insight in my priorities in life:

I’m pretty sure the worst thing about being poor is not being able to commission kink porn of your OCs.

tags → #tmi 

That awkward moment where you’re horny but mostly the kind of horny that craves intimacy but yet you hate yourself and you find yourself lying in bed realizing you’ll never, ever, share that bed again because you’re fucking worthless so you don’t even masturbate because what’s the point and how do you even deserve empty fulfillment….

tags → #tmi #self hate /// 

A part of me kind of hopes that the HPV diagnosis is true, because HPV could cause cancer, and I could get sick “for real”, and I could die.

In high school, when everything was crashing down on me from the long untreated depression and anxiety and insomnia and so on, and I was constantly in and out of clinics and such trying to figure out what was wrong with me, the fact I had no answer whatsoever for anyone, made me feel like utter shit.

One of my favourite teachers bought and passed around a card for me. It made me feel even worse (although tbh people being nice to me makes me feel bad to start with).

I’m not sure what triggered it, maybe the fact I was really into Scrubs and M*A*S*H* at the time, but I started wishing I had some serious issue, a terminal illness maybe. Various cancers, heart disease, diabetes, internal hemorrhaging, stomach rupture, what the fuck ever. Something to explain it all and to give an answer that proved I wasn’t faking, I was honestly ill, and really badly so and getting worse. It also may have to do with my self harm desires I refused to acknowledge.

But when it was depression, my heart dropped. I had internalized ableism, of course - depression wasn’t a big deal, COULDN’T be a big deal, right?

At least, not for me. I would easily and readily feel empathy and sympathy for others and their mental health issues. But me? No, it’s an excuse, it’s not good enough, I really AM just worthless and lazy.

And that’s been my constant battle since then, even as I had more signs stuck to my defunct kiddie ride of a brain. And so, I continued to wonder, “What if I suddenly vomited blood and passed out?” and similar thoughts.

I can’t afford the constant upkeep HPV would require, which means I may actually get a reproductive cancer. But, of course, I can’t afford the upkeep for cancer either, hahaha, so it’s a little naive and ignorant.

Constantly having dreams about having a penis or being a strong empath who can feel the feelings of other people’s penises.

So today just ain’t a great day for my health.

The doc I went to for my breast itching and vaginal issues asked me to come back in for another culture and pap smear.

I called them because I could’ve sworn they said I needed two antibiotic regimens for my vaginal issues, but when they answered they said I needed to come back in.

So I did.

I thought the receptionist was mistaken when she said another pap. But she wasn’t. For some fucking reason, not a single person contacted me about the results of my last pap.

So she casually announced I have low grade cells, in other words HPV.

I was confused. “But I was sure I finished the vaccine?”

"Well it doesn’t protect against ALL strains."

No shit, I’m not ignorant, however I’m pretty god damned sure most of those other strains are rarer, let alone are less likely to cause cancer.

At least that’s what I’ve always read.

"You’ve probably had it since before you were vaccinated."

No. I was not. What makes her think I haven’t been getting paps since before the vaccination? What makes her think I haven’t had paps since getting it?

This is the first one that has come up as unusual, at least as far as I’ve been notified (is it common practice to NOT TELL SOMEONE THEIR PAP RESULTS?).

"You’re going to need to get a pap every six months now, so we can catch it before it tries to become cancer."

That’s fucking beautiful, just what I need.

And, she said I also still have the vaginosis, except now I have a yeast infection on top of it because of the (ineffective) antibiotics.

I think I’m going to go to a different doctor, actually. Hate to burst her bubble, but considering all the strikes against this place….

  • How they asked ONCE what medications I was on and what behaviours I was currently engaging in, and then never again.
  • How she’s consistently treated me like I don’t know anything.
  • How, despite telling them, and even putting on my patient forms DO NOT CALL ME IN THE MORNING, they did anyway, and then were rude to me when I asked them to tell me again what they said and resend my prescription to the pharmacy.
  • How when I initially went in, and tried to show her the sores and spots on my breasts, she merely glanced at me and proclaimed I had a staph infection. When I went back in for the first pap, I tried to tell her I was still itching, and I was reacting badly to the antibiotic she gave me and the cream gave me a rash, she didn’t listen to a word I said and ignored me.
  • HOW SHE DIDN’T FUCKING TELL ME THE RESULTS OF MY PAP.
  • How her antibiotics failed AGAIN and she diagnosed me AGAIN from visual only (but at least she’s going to test anyway).

…I’m not exactly sure her opinion can be trusted.

The problem is, there’s no guarantees with yet another new doctor. Sigh.

On top of that, I had a really large, hard stool that took an hour to pass (I couldn’t find a stopping point because it hurt to try and relax, though it hurt no matter what…) and I am a bit concerned that I may have blown my ass out. I don’t seem to have any listed symptoms of anal prolapse but I’m still worried. My anus felt funny when I bent over, and feeling with my fingers there was a large lump. I have hemorrhoids, and I wonder if it’s just that, but… it didn’t hurt, it didn’t feel raw or burn, it didn’t even feel wet. It seems to have reduced by now but…. nngh.

tags → #tmi #unsanitary /// 

sir-prince replied to your post “Even in the AU where Candler is a normal sized person of his race (5’3…”

large testicles is actually this one kink that had hit me hard recently and I just never had a chance to mention I’m hella into it……

S-same… <:3;

Rocket was my favourite character of the movie and his personality is hot but god damn it I can’t take any porn of him seriously/find it alluring because he is literally just an upright raccoon. I don’t want to fuck a real raccoon, even if he can talk.

tags → #tmi