I didn’t sleep well because I kept hallucinating that there were people in my home.

It wasn’t a dream or anything I was wide awake and hearing all sorts of things and even feeling people near me and the only way to make it stop was to sit up or call for Sunshine. But then it would start again soon after.

My life is so out of control.

I kind of want to make an anti-brony blog because of a shitty anon I saw on ponies-against-bronies but I also feel like I’m not good enough for that. I don’t have a cool pony character to kick brony butt, I don’t follow a lot of pony blogs to post MLP related stuff otherwise, and it’s been forever since I’ve seen anything MLP that wasn’t Friendship is Magic so I feel like a shit pony fan.

I’m tired but I have to work from 5 pm to 12 am tomorrow and don’t want to sleep now so I can sleep long enough to be rested for that.

I’m hungry as fuck but I don’t really have anything I want to eat.

Maybe ramen but I’m still feeling kind of overheated. But the ramen would be good for my throat.

I had to leave work today because I was going to pass out and/or vomit.

I felt like I had been standing in the sun or a really hot shower for a long time. I couldn’t get it to go away. I went into the freezers to try and cool down or something but that just made me feel like puking even more.

Ugh.

The autistic thing with us being sensitive to sensations is kind of a blessing and a curse.

In one hand it’s cool to be able to experience things to their fullest and be aware of when things are a bit off, but on the other hand it’s like “No, I can’t tell you how that sound makes me feel or what it exactly sounds like or what’s wrong with it, I just don’t like it please stop doing it”. You know?

Also people at work keep using the word “retard” and I hate it but since it’s not considered hate speech by anyone with the power I can’t complain about it. And anyway, even if it were, yeah, I want to out myself as a retard and also stir shit in a new job by tattling. That’ll go over super well.

Question: I’ve seen people mention it, but not really explain it: why are “that’s what (s)he said” jokes bad?

Not as in bad taste or immature, because most often they are, but as in problematic.

Today at work a really energetic customer came in just before I left.

I was finishing off my free drink so I could put it in the sink in the kitchen, and she cam up to the fountain to get a drink. I greeted her, and she responded and then asked, “How’s your day?”. I lied (as always) and said it was fine, and she exclaimed her day was amazing and she was super excited. Of course, I decided to ask what was making her so happy.

She said she was going to Indy to visit a friend she met on the Internet. She told me how she came here from Maine three years ago, to meet her boyfriend that she also met on the Internet, in the same group. They all played a game together and have been best friends ever since, and they visit each other all the time.

She was so happy and excited, it made me smile. But it was a sad smile. A smile remembering old days.

My coworkers were discussing children meeting black people for the first time and how cute and innocent they were about it and I could only think

"yeah, meeting other races is a wonderful experience… for white kids"

I was happy to learn that after 1:00 pm I no longer had to restock all the vast variety of food we make for lunch every hour, and instead on an “as-needed/requested” basis. The only thing we had to do every hour was make a pizza.

But I still really, really hate working in the kitchen, a lot. I hate this job, honestly. I don’t want it anymore.

And it’s looking more and more like after I’m trained, I’m just going to be an on-call associate - just there to replace people who call in or get a day off. Which is absolutely unhelpful for my financial situation.