"When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with.

The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.”

All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone.

And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.”

—Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking, 1978 Peace Prize Acceptance Speech (via withoutawarning)

(Source: jillymomcraftypants)

madgastronomer:

schroedingerscas:

moranballads:

I am begging you, please sign this petition to ask Amazon to stop selling these books. The books are given out in some churches and sold under an illusion of creating a happy family. This story and the things that are encouraged in the books break my heart.

Here is the petition. Please, please sign.

[TW CHILD ABUSE]

Some of the discipline techniques the Pearls teach include:

  • Using plastic tubing to beat children, since it hurts a lot but leaves fewer marks to alert authorities
  • Wearing the plastic tubing around the parent’s neck as a constant reminder to obey
  • "Swatting" babies as young as six months old with instruments such as "a 12-inch willowy branch," thinner plastic tubing or a wooden spoon
  • "Blanket training" babies by hitting them with an instrument if they try to crawl off a blanket on the floor
  • Beating older children with rulers, paddles, belts and larger tree branches
  • "Training" children with pain before they even disobey, in order to teach total obedience
  • Giving cold water baths, putting children outside in cold weather and withholding meals as discipline
  • Hosing off children who have potty training accidents
  • Inflicting punishment until a child is “without breath to complain.”“

they’re advocating for beating children as young as 6 MONTHS

they’re advising people on how to avoid legal punishment for their crimes

The Pearls and their ministry, No Greater Joy, make an estimated $1.7 million a year.

I think it’s important to point out that many of the children abused, and especially those murdered, using this method, are children of color adopted by white people, often from poverty-stricken countries in Africa and Asia.

(Source: jensensmomma)

thebicker:

This is that book that advocates beating your kids with a rubber tube. It’s been implicated in a number of deaths, particularly in Evangelical adoptive/foster homes. Getting it off of Amazon would be a nice blow to their sales numbers. Sign this!

Eeegghhh how gross is that title. This is what pro-spank obsession boils down to - treating children like animals, like property.

writeswrongs:

An article today from Slate reports that constantly shouting at your children is bad for them and almost as bad as physically beating your children.

This seems fairly obvious to me? But the amount of people defending the constant shouting at children claim there is no other way to parent kids - and no other way to truly love them.

And it just strikes me as so strange hateful - there is literally no other relationship we understand as *requiring* constant verbal abuse.  I’m not talking about occasional arguments or frustrations, but like a dependence on shouting as a parenting technique.

Why have kids? If you just want to keep your blood pressure up and die younger than expected and just constantly be losing your shit at someone who entirely depends on you?  Shouting and belittling your loved ones (and yes that’s not just kids - that’s spouses and siblings and anybody you care about) has one of two possible effects: it either creates someone who shouts back, or someone who is shamed and retreats.  Shouting at children has been shown to increase bratty or hostile behavior, mistrust towards the guardian/abuser, and depression in the victim.

And imagining the opposite - a grown adult yelling at a frail, elderly parent who depends on them - immediately sets off alarms as abusive.  Imagine slapping an aging woman across the face, or shouting within an inch of her face, while she depended on you for food or shelter.  A great predictor of how children will treat you later in life, is how you treat them when they depend on you.  If you don’t want them, don’t have them.  If you make us feel unwanted, if you abuse us and mistreat us, rest assured you’ll die alone.  I am saying this a person who is never turning around to ask if my parents have changed.  Don’t know, don’t care.

(Source: lgbtqblogs)

thepoliticalfreakshow:

The following message is from Arthur Stewart, who was adopted as a child by two loving fathers, Greg and Stillman. Arthur is now a sophomore in college.


By the time I was seven, I had already been placed in 17 different foster homes.I was out of options until a loving gay couple, Greg and Stillman, gave me the family that I had dreamed of.

Greg and Stillman took me in as a foster kid and then adopted me when I was eight. If it hadn’t been for my two dads, I might have continued to bounce from home to home for years—without their love and support, I doubt I could have made it to college.

But in Nebraska, where we live now, gay and lesbian people are prevented from providing loving homes to kids who need them. Nebraska is one of only three states that still have this type of unfair ban. Today, my dads are helping the ACLU fight this ban in court—but we need to use every means possible to challenge this unfair policy, including public pressure.

Tell Governor Heineman to do what’s right for the children of Nebraska.

But guys queers have equal rights already amirite

(Source: thepoliticalfreakshow)

Can U Not methods of child punishment that for some reason people think are okay alternatives to spanking or light slaps:

  • Tickling
  • Ignoring/cold shoulder treatment
  • Making them hug and/or kiss their bullies/other kids they’re fighting with
  • Forced interaction with kids they don’t like
  • Putting your love and respect on a line, ie subtly implying “if you do this I won’t love/respect you anymore”

Okay let me talk about this shit which is basically mental abuse except for the tickling which is both mental and physical abuse.

Okay

  1. Tickling. Tickling is supposed to be affectionate and playful. Why would you use a tool of love and friendship in a punishing manner? What do you think that child is going to think when it grows up and people try to tickle it? You’re setting it up for basically being afraid of being fucking touched you asshat. Not only that, but it’s invasive and embarrassing as fuck to forcibly make someone react and it can cause sensory overload and urination and just jesus christ don’t do it.
  2. Ignoring them. Wow you do not just pretend your child doesn’t exist when they do something bad and you definitely don’t let them scream themselves blue and hammer in this idea that you WILL NOT RESPOND TO THEM WHEN YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT THEY’RE DOING THAT IS CREATING BAD TRUST ISSUES. LIKE WHAT IF THEY’RE NOT SURE THEY’RE GONNA BE IN TROUBLE (BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE RAISING YOUR CHILD) AND IT”S SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT BUT THEY CAN’T COME TO YOU BECAUSE THEY’RE AFRAID YOU’LL STOP TALKING TO THEM LIKE THE 12 YEAR OLD BRAT THAT YOU ARE? HOLY SHIT THEY COULD BE COMING OUT AND DEALING WITH BULLYING AND THEY WON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE COMING TO THEIR OWN FUCKING PARENT(S).
  3. Hugs and kisses. Holy rape culture Batman. Way to teach children their bodies are not their own and are to be controlled by people with authority or power over them. Not only that, way to increase resentment and rebellious ideals in your child. Oh and way to minimize their feelings by equating them with someone who could have been fucking bullying them. This “everyone’s a little guilty somehow” bullshit is just that it’s bullshit fuck you.
  4. And wow don’t fucking ever do this “if you do bad things I’ll love/respect you less” you are a fucking parent you are supposed to ALWAYS LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR CHILD NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO and using your respect and love as bait to force them to do what you want creates serious trust and attachment issues motherfucker. Calling your child/referring to your child as a disappointment is fucking atrocious you monster.

stfuprolife:

“The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion”: When the Anti-Choice Choose

In the spring of 2000, I collected the following anecdotes directly from abortion doctors and other clinic staff in North America, Australia, and Europe. The stories are presented in the providers’ own words, with minor editing for grammar, clarity, and brevity. Names have been omitted to protect privacy.

by Joyce Arthur

“I have done several abortions on women who have regularly picketed my clinics, including a 16 year old schoolgirl who came back to picket the day after her abortion, about three years ago. During her whole stay at the clinic, we felt that she was not quite right, but there were no real warning bells. She insisted that the abortion was her idea and assured us that all was OK. She went through the procedure very smoothly and was discharged with no problems. A quite routine operation. Next morning she was with her mother and several school mates in front of the clinic with the usual anti posters and chants. It appears that she got the abortion she needed and still displayed the appropriate anti views expected of her by her parents, teachers, and peers.”

-(Physician, Australia)

“I’ve had several cases over the years in which the anti-abortion patient had rationalized in one way or another that her case was the only exception, but the one that really made an impression was the college senior who was the president of her campus Right-to-Life organization, meaning that she had worked very hard in that organization for several years. As I was completing her procedure, I asked what she planned to do about her high office in the RTL organization. Her response was a wide-eyed, ‘You’re not going to tell them, are you!?’ When assured that I was not, she breathed a sigh of relief, explaining how important that position was to her and how she wouldn’t want this to interfere with it.”

-(Physician, Texas)

“In 1973, after Roe v. Wade, abortion became legal but had to be performed in a hospital. That of course was changed later. For the first ‘legal abortion day’ I had scheduled five procedures. While scrubbing between cases, I was accosted by the Chief of the OB/Gyn service. He asked me, ‘How many children are you going to kill today?’ My response, out of anger, was a familiar vulgar retort. About three months later, this born-again Christian called me to explain that he was against abortion but his daughter was only a junior in high school and was too young to have a baby and he was also afraid that if she did have a baby she would not want to put it up for adoption. I told him he did not need to explain the situation to me. ‘All I need to know’, I said, ‘is that SHE wants an abortion.’ Two years later I performed a second abortion on her during her college break. She thanked me and pleaded, ‘Please don’t tell my dad, he is still anti-abortion.’” 

-(Physician, Washington State)

These are just a few examples I pulled from the page.  There are several more stories waiting to be heard.

-Hannah

vbsreject:

viviopsis:

rrriottt:

zygoma:

Meet the parents who are raising a ‘genderless’ baby

Wed, May 25, 2011

For most of us, as soon as a pregnancy is announced, the gender guessing game begins. And while some like to keep the sex of their baby a secret until the child is born, one couple has taken a decidedly different approach on revealing the sex of their offspring.

A Canadian couple from Toronto have decided to keep the gender of their four-month-old baby a secret in order to raise what they call a ‘genderless’ child. Storm will be raised as neither a boy nor girl and will choose a sex when he or she grows up.

Kathy Witterick and David Stocker have only revealed Storm’s gender to close members of the family, including their two young sons, one friend and the midwives who delivered the child.

After Storm was born on New Year’s Day, the parents sent out an email to the rest of their friends and loved ones, writing: “We’ve decided not to share Storm’s sex - a tribute to choice in a place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm’s lifetime ( a more progressive place?…).”

The couple told the Toronto Star about the flood of unsupportive comments they have received. Friends expressed their fears of how Storm’s genderless nature would make the child vulnerable to bullying in the future. Another concern was that they thought the couple were actually taking away the newborn’s right to choice, by forcing their own ideology on the tot.

Defending their decision, Kathy said, “With the baby, even the people who love the most and know you intimately, the first question they ask is, ‘“Is it a girl or a boy?”’ David added, “If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what’s between their legs.’

Kathy and David feel strongly about releasing their children from the constraints that society poses on males and females and want them to make their own decisions about how they act and look.

Their sons Jazz, five, and Kio, two, have the freedom to dress themselves and decide when they want to cut their hair. Kio’s favourite colour is purple and older sibling Jazz has long hair, he likes pink.

After being mistaken for a girl and home schooled because of how people would, “immediately react with Jazz over his gender” the couple decided to raise Storm genderless.

I love this so much.

For serious. I find it especially telling how people can get so upset/threatened over the fact that they’re doing this and not even blink at the systematic forced surgical intervention/mutilation exerted on intersex children, for example. Nothing is being forced on Storm, no choice is being taken away; in fact, Storm’s identity will be self-determined and also, from the sound of it, absolutely respected no matter what. 

Their best decision was to not press society’s gender ideas on them.  Their worst decision was to name one of them Jazz.

@Bold: Not just intersex children but males and females as well. Circumcision is still too popular in North America. Funny how those same parents would probably turn around and say that all boys should be circ’d to fit in.

But yes it’s the system that should be criticized, the system that causes these mutilations and causes the bullying that Jazz received. This is victim-blaming through and through. And we wonder why rape victims have such a hard time getting support, when we do this shit every day. “It’s not MY fault I bullied this kid, he looks weird and was asking for it, HE should change, not me!”

wisconsinforward:

A new bill proposed by Republican Glenn Grothman (and co-sponsored by Rep. Pridemore) would require the Wisconsin Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Board to “emphasize that non-marital parenthood is a contributing factor to child abuse.”

The entire bill can be found here.  

This is fucking stupid. Also, note how it says non-marital and it’s a state in which same-sex couples can’t get married, by constitutional amendment. I think this is less a jab at single parenthood and more a roundabout way of attacking same-sex couples’ families. Regardless, here we are again making out not being married and having sex like it’s the greatest social ill we have. Like for example you know in a lot of child custody battles - and this is something I’ve heard of more done against women than men - the proposition will often bring up the fact the parent has a partner that they aren’t married to that the kid is aware of as a reason why they shouldn’t have the kid; it’s considered wildly inappropriate. What the fuck?