Oh isn’t my family full of fantastic people? Hollow laughter.
So, we’ll start this with a post I posted when it happened, and promptly deleted due to fear of being found out. I have inserted updates.
Okay so elaboration upon the thing I mentioned last night.
So my brother’s ex girlfriend is going around saying he raped her.
Now, if this were a random girl saying a random guy raped her, I wouldn’t really have much of an opinion because I wouldn’t know anything, and would just think “Well, if it’s true, I hope she gets justice”.
But no, since I know him, and sort of know her, it’s a different situation entirely.
His side of the story is this:
L (as we shall call her) texted him telling him to come over to her house, that she loved him still, and wanted to be with him. He went there, and her family was not home; they were alone. She took him to her bed room, they make out, and then she rolls on top of him and they have sex in that manner.
Then her uncle comes to pick her up, and she leaves, saying they are together now, and then he leaves some time after.
[Her side of the story is, if I recall:
She texted saying she wanted to talk about their relationship. He came over, she was doing laundry, and she tried to get him to go away. She didn’t want to be rude though so she listened to him. They talk, and he starts feeling her up and she keeps trying to push him away. He reminds her that it feels good, shit happens, he ends up forcing himself on her, because she continuously says stop while he’s having sex with her. I can’t remember the exact story.]
The next day, she texts him saying she “feels like she was raped” [in her side, she said: “what you did was rape”] and he says “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that” [supposedly] in reference to coming over and having sex with her. After that, she started telling people she raped him and threatening to print out his text as proof. And as for her texts, those inviting him over, saying she loved him, saying they were back together, saying she had a good time, and then saying she changed her mind about it? Oh he deleted those or they were automatically deleted or for some reason they are not on his phone [including the ones where she told him he raped her and him saying sorry for raping her].
Now I know my brother. He thinks he’s a big shot for being sexually active, he says he’d kill his gay children, he flies off the handle about any little fucking thing that doesn’t go his way (in fact yesterday he decided to tear up all the cups and trash out here [at my parents’] and throw them all over the place because mom wouldn’t give him five bucks to go to McDonald’s), and he’s so massively controlling he has chased away almost all of his girlfriends, even going so far as to give them ultimatums and trash talking them for dancing with other boys or going to parties with friends or doing anything “not lady like” or without him.
As for L? Mom claims she’s controlling right back and manipulative but I’ve never once seen her do any such thing, she’s quiet as a mouse and polite as you please. Mom bad mouths all of my brother’s girlfriends even when he’s the one being a dick, though. She has the idea that women are subservient to men and as such any time the girls act like normal modern girls that’s a bad thing. Well, she IS being trashy by going to that party, well she IS being unfaithful for dancing with another boy, well she IS being a bad girlfriend for not inviting your brother, well she IS not lady-like for doing such and such, well she TRICKED your brother into sex after all, and so on; my brother is always justified in his actions.
So you know leaving aside that bias there’s also the fact she believes everything that comes out of that boy’s mouth, even when there’s something really fucking fishy about the supposed redeeming texts being unavailable.
And of course, despite being “so afraid” right now he’s acting like a bigshot all over the place as usual and even got suspended from school for a week now for starting a fight. Oh, and supposedly he’s getting threats on his Facebook but I just checked and there are no messages whatsoever on his page, and he won’t show mom them either.
So if you ask me? This is very fucking fishy business. There’s no true proof I suppose but it’s still very fucking fishy business.
Well do you know what happened after I posted this?
I was threatened. I was told never to tell a soul because “we don’t want anything incriminating” or else. Meaning, they know I don’t take his bullshit and would easily tell police, yeah, he’s a misogynistic piece of shit. But the police never asked me.
I sent her a message on Facebook, trying to get her side of the story, but saying I was ready to believe her because my brother is a horrible person. I told her specifically not to tell anyone I messaged her because I was in danger from my family. I told her I wanted to help and had resources she could use.
But what did she do? She reported our family for harassment and got a restraining order on us. I didn’t know my mother had left her eight fucking messages on her phone demanding she speak with her. So even though I begged her not to tell, she listed me in her police statement as part of the harassment. I managed to erase my tracks pretty neatly on my end, but if she showed my message I’d be dead meat. I wanted badly to ask her why she would do such a thing but I knew I already in a bad enough spot. And that’s why I left alarming journals everywhere saying I could possibly be kicked out of the house or worse. My father is especially unforgiving of dissent.
Well anyway, I felt pretty bitter towards her for that. I risked my neck and she betrayed me. But after we received her full witness statement, I had more faith in her, because it mentioned how he made her feel afraid because she knew he could fly into a rage, because he was a football player, because he was twice her size, because he was holding her firmly.
And then what sealed the deal?
My brother said, “well she didn’t make me stop”.
THAT IS SOMETHING A RAPIST SAYS.
And what is worse is my family fucking agreed “oh yes, couldn’t have been rape then, she didn’t do anything to defend herself even if she said no!”.
My god, the rape culture that was all over the house at that time. I told my parents not to discuss the case around me because I was sick of hearing it.
She supposedly has depression, and apparently “those kind of people are quick to cry rape”. Gee, fucking thanks, I’m so glad I can rely on my fucking parents to believe me when I come to them— oh wait, I already knew they wouldn’t. But that’s so fucking sick I was going to cry upon hearing it. And they said this over and over. She’s mentally disturbed, she’s trying to blame my brother for what she brought on herself, she doesn’t know what she wants so she runs crying to the police, she’s freaking out, because she’s mentally disturbed.
Then, when she goes to court for the restraining order, the poor kid is so alone in her fight that she only has an advocate and isn’t prepared. She just wants to be left alone, it was clear. The judge threw out the cases because she didn’t go to the second hearing. And you know fucking what? My mother fucking tracked her down and HUGGED HER IN PUBLIC after this happened.
I know he raped her, and he got away with it because she was made powerless. My parents did nothing over it except threaten me because they’re victim-blaming assholes.
